The Binks Awakens
by Coruscant Castaway
Summary: Episode 6.5: It's true. All of it. The Force, the Jedi, the Jar Jar. Many years after the Empire's been destroyed, Jar Jar Binks is awaken from his sleep in carbonite, only to find out that he's a force-sensitive being. With the help of Luke Skywalker, he is trained to be a Jedi. But he is hated by many people. Finally, he wants revenge. *A Star Wars parody*
1. Chapter 1

_A.N. Seriously, I don't know if anyone wants to read this. Because, who the hell in their right mind puts the most beloved and legendary character in the galaxy, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, in the same story with the galaxy's most detested character, Jar Jar Binks? So, if you're reading this, I can only say THANK YOU and please give this story a chance. I am writing for fun, so I really hope you'll get as much fun as I have when writing this. ^^_

 _This is a Star Wars parody/humor fanfiction story set between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens._

 _This story follows Disney canon only. So, mind you, there'll be no Star Wars EU characters like Mara Jade, Anakin Solo, Ben Skywalker, etc. And since I don't play video games, I only use the characters from the movies (obviously) and the TV series._

 **DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN STAR WARS. COPYRIGHTS BELONG TO DISNEY AND LUCASFILM** _ **.**_

* * *

 **A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…**

 **Episode 6.5**

 **THE BINKS AWAKENS**

 **Everything had changed. The Empire, the Sith, the Death Star, all had been destroyed. There was no more chaos, no more war, only peace. Luke Skywalker had started his own Jedi academy in Bespin. He had recruited some force-sensitive children from across the galaxy to be trained as Jedi. Among students was his own nephew, Ben Solo, who although could be irritating with his somewhat emo life style, was apparently quite adept in the Force. Luke's students had been all but difficult. His life was perfect, everything was in place. Except one.**

From inside the X-Wing interior, Luke Skywalker led his ship to Naboo, his mother's home planet.

Mind you, he wasn't trying to dig his family's history from his mother's side. Because, why should he do that? His mother was once the queen of Naboo, his sister was the princess of Alderaan. And him? He was a freaking moisture farmer!

It had been long acknowledged by everyone that the Skywalkers women and men must have opposing paths of life. The Skywalkers women must live as either princess or queen, while the Skywalkers men must live in deserted planet of Tatooine while leading a pretty miserably boring life and lost a hand. It was a tradition that needed no further explanation for Lucas' shake.

But, it wasn't what's bothering Luke. He had made a deal with himself since long time ago about that.

Last night, he summoned Obi-Wan's Force ghost. But boy, he had made a wrong decision. Poor Obi-Wan couldn't stop babbling about how unfair the Force was to him. How could Anakin get a younger version Force-ghost of himself and he didn't?

Luke had heard about this for the past few decades and he wished he could get out of this unimportant matter. He had more important things to do and to think about, like playing with his toy T-16 Skyhopper and reminiscing the delicious taste of blue milk, like the good old time in Tatooine.

Later that night though, between Obi-Wan's complaints about Anakin's young Force-ghost and how the Solo shouldn't name their emo son after him, the old man slipped something in his speech, a name he should not mention.

Obi-Wan mentioned a name Luke name never heard of, a character from the incredibly well-thought and well-made prequels, because obviously the films had not been made when Luke's films were made.

He was a simple being, Obi-Wan said. Some mistook him as clumsy.

But, the wise Obi-Wan didn't agree with those who said so. And you should believe Obi-Wan, because he always told the truth. Including the time when he said Darth Vader killed Luke's father and when he said he never owned a droid. Obi-Wan never told lies.

Jar Jar Binks was a legend and a war hero.

No one ever mentioned that name to Luke. Not even Yoda, Obi-Wan, or his father. He thought the droids probably knew him, but why would they mention the name? Artoo spoke in a language no one could understand. Threepio had lost memory of his long time ago.

If they didn't even bother to tell him that Darth Vader was his father, why would they told him about this? And if they didn't even comment even a single thing witnessing an incestuous kiss between Luke and Leia, why brought the gungan's name into conversation?

Now, if only Leia could do her hair in less than three hours this morning, Luke probably would have asked his sister to come with him. But, it was Leia. Leia Organa Skywalker Solo, the rebel legend who never messed her hair even when in battle.

Leia's hair had become a symbol and an icon for the rebels. The hair in buns much like a headphone in her ears. The hair in braid like she wore when she was in Endor. Or her hair in single braid like she wore as Jabba's slave. Every hairstyle she did had always brought a new trend to the galaxy. For decades, she had become a celeb. A hair product model.

But to do such hair must require a great amount of time. In Leia's defense, she was still not as stylish as their mother, who, according to the galaxy's legend, changed her hair style and her dress every time she walked into a door.

But, even a Jedi Master like Luke Skywalker had lost his patience to wait for a former princess like her doing her hair. So, he left alone. This mission was too important to him.

He needed to meet the galaxy's true legend, Jar Jar Binks.

You might as well ask, but why? Luke wanted to know, he wanted to figure out more. Who was this gungan? Why did his name suddenly become so legendary and important to him?

Legend said he-who-should-not-be-named was once expelled from his village because he was clumsy. Like seriously, you get banished by your own people because you're clumsy? Now Luke felt much grateful because his uncle and aunt didn't disown him for being whiny.

Luke pulled over his ship to Naboo forest. As he opened to door, he remembered Threepio at home.

The golden droid would probably be more excited than him to be in the mission, but much to his disappointment, he forgot to tell him about this.

After the protocol droid found out that Anakin Skywalker was his maker, the Oscar-look-alike droid became too excited to the point he became more unbearably talkative than he already was. He ran around telling everyone that he was part of the Skywalkers. But, as expected, no one cared about it.

A few years past and the droid lost his arm, only to be replaced with a new one.

A more normal protocol droid would be sad over the fact he no longer had his original arm. But it didn't happen to him. Instead, C-3PO became overly proud and declared that due to the lost arm he felt like a true Skywalker now.

At least, the droid didn't become a Skywalker fanboy like Luke's nephew. He sighed thinking about him. Only the Force knew what was wrong with Ben Solo.

Ben had been overly obsessed with Darth Vader so bad, to the point he had been awarded by the Republic as Vader's number one most annoying fanboy. He might as well start a cult if he could. But no one would follow him.

Luke had convinced Han and Leia that their son was only going through a phase in his life. An emo phase. His obsession toward Darth Vader wouldn't last long. It was just like Luke's own obsession to power converters back in his teenage years in Tatooine, but minus the emo.

Everything would be normal again, Luke convinced them. Unless he wasn't normal.

It was almost noon when Luke left his X-Wing in a clearing in the woods and started walking around with Artoo.

"There has got to be a lake around here," he said to Artoo. "This is the place where Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan met him many years ago, he-who-should-not-be-named."

"Beep bop," said Artoo.

"This place is very not normal, don't you think so, Artoo?" Luke asked. "I sense something. But I can't explain what it is. It's very weird."

"Beep bop beep boop!"

"You've met him once, right? You know him. He was the galaxy's legend, a gungan who brought Sheev Palpatine into power. He was the key to everything, Lucas said. Whatever that means. He was so great, like a myth. He knew my father before he turned to the dark side. That's why I really want to meet him, Artoo. Well, he's indeed a myth to me."

"Beep bop beep blop blop?"

"I really hope he is still alive. But where is he? I don't know where to start looking for him."

Of course Luke didn't understand even a beep what Artoo said. He just talked to himself. Artoo was only there to justify him.

Without warning, as if the universe understood his question, Luke suddenly sensed something in the Force. And he believed that the Force was always right in guiding him. Just dismiss the time when the Force didn't even bother to warn him when he made out with his sister. It was as if the Force blessed them.

Something so strong was calling Luke in the woods. He turned around, confused, almost stumbled down to poor Artoo, but soon regained his balance once he figured out where it came from. He saw a vision of a cave somewhere in the forest. And that, he thought, might be the answer to his question.

"There's a cave around here, Artoo. We've got to go there. There must be something in there."

Luke walked himself around, sensing through the Force about the existence of the cave.

Artoo was behind him, beeping something he couldn't understand. Well, when did the last time he actually understand Artoo? He could only look at the poor droid, trying not to wonder what he just said. Not even the Force could help him understand. But he guessed to himself, "You, stupid, Luke, why do you bring me here?" Luke shook his head, ignoring his thoughts and walked himself to the cave.

The cave was dark and damp. Artoo was beeping even more loudly from outside, probably swearing, Luke believed. But the Jedi Master kept his pace down the cave, deeper and deeper.

Luke finally arrived in a dead end. There was a big trunk covered in spider webs at end of the cave. As he walked closer, he realized what it was.

It reminded him to that time in Jabba's place when Han was frozen in carbonite. But, it wasn't Han that he remembered. He remembered Leia in her gold bikini! It was almost distracting for him seeing a girl that hot sitting in front of him when he talked to Jabba. He even touched her when they swung from Jabba's ship. Eww, that was gross!

Mind you, he was only exposed to only three women in three movies. And the hottest one turned out to be his sister. That was pretty traumatic when he found out.

Luke peered at the creature trapped in the carbonite in front of him. What was that? He couldn't describe what he saw.

He never met a species like this. A head like a rabbit with a mouth like a platypus. It was hard to believe that this creature was once a galactic Senator. Seriously, what were people thinking when they gave him the position?

Luke wanted to press the button to unfreeze the creature. But he didn't want to go anywhere near him. The Force knew what this gungan might be hiding for decades. That he was secretly a Sith lord? Really possible.

There were many rocks around him that he could use to throw at the carbonite to press the unfreeze button. Wait, he could also use the Force.

So why did you mean that he had to throw a rock to slide down that door in rancor's cage at Jabba's place? Obi-Wan always used the Force to open and close a door. Or did he? On the other hand, he might not actually using the Force and that was really a futuristic gesture-based door. Luke didn't understand.

He couldn't describe the strong urge in him to unfreeze that creature. He could sense that it was Jar Jar Binks, the gungan he was looking for.

Artoo was still outside, his beeping low but still heard. Luke walked slowly yet surely to the carbonite and pressed the unfreeze button.

The carbonite melted gradually, revealing the shape of the horrific creature inside it. Jar Jar Binks was slowly back into consciousness.

Hesitant with what he had just done, Luke made a few steps back as he watched the gungan awaken from his long sleep. When the carbonite finally melted away completely, the strange creature opened his eyes.

"Meesa back!"


	2. Chapter 2

What was worse than being alone with a strange creature with mouth like a platypus and spoke like a dying retarded tauntaun? Luke had no idea. Oh, wait. Not being able to go to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters was worse.

Luke shuddered at the thought. It was worse than anything. Even worse than figuring out that the most evil person in the galaxy was his father.

He used to be really sad over the fact that he would never pick up his power converters after his uncle and aunt being burned to death like barbeque many years ago.

Yoda said, a Jedi should not crave these things. Well, how unfortunate it was. A Jedi should not crave for even a power converter!

Luke looked at he-who-should-not-be-named standing clumsily in front of him. Yes, even his standing was clumsy. This creature didn't know how to stand like a normal sentient being. He just stood there, looking dumbfounded.

You could even see how fake the gungan looked like. He was a bad CGI after all. But he was only one among the overabundance use of special effects in the films.

The computer-generated creature turned to Luke at last, giving him chills down the spine. His eyes were yellow like…. Like C-3PO's plating of course.

What on galaxy would you think they'd look like? Definitely not look like Palpatine's or Darth Maul's eyes, or Anakin's when he's tempted by the dark side.

"Who are yousa?" the creature asked. "Why do yousa looky like Ani?"

Who was Ani? Luke wondered. Sounded like a girl's name to him.

He didn't answer, still speechless by the horrid look and the incredibly obnoxious voice of the creature.

"Ani? Mesa Jar Jar Binks, yousa remember? Yousa Little Ani! Yousa grow up! Thisa hard to believe!" The you-know-who jumped out closer to Luke, making the Jedi Master jump back, almost falling to the ground.

"Who is Ani?"

Then it occurred to him that Ani was his father.

Anakin Skywalker was Ani! He could hardly imagine this CGI creature before him calling his father, squeaking like, "Anniiiieeeeee."

Now imagine if his Sith's name had something to do with his name, like Darth Ani.

 _Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Ani._ That didn't sound menacing at all.

What the Force was wrong with this galaxy? No wonder, he turned to the dark side, Luke thought.

"I am not Anakin, if that's what you meant," Luke explained. "I am Luke Skywalker. And I am here to rescue you."

You-know-who looked at Luke confused for a moment. "Yousa Luke Skywalker?"

"Yes, Jar Jar. Anakin is my father," Luke said calmly, in the most Jedi way possible.

The gungan's yellow eyes lit up, raising both his hands in an excited way. "Yousa Ani's son!"

Luke was fazed by the gungan's too excited behavior. He even almost grimaced when the gungan tried to embrace him.

"Where is Ani, Lukey?"

"How long have you been in the carbonite, Jar Jar? Don't you know what happened to my father?"

The gungan looked confused. "Why? What happened to Ani?"

From Luke's behind, he could hear Artoo's beeping getting closer. Before he knew it, the astromech droid had already stood beside him, beeping loudly – and somewhat meaninglessly – seeing Jar Jar Binks.

"R2D2! Meesa miss yousa! Weesa meet again!" Jar Jar Binks squealed.

Artoo bleeped out some unpleasant tones which no one understood the meaning of.

"It has been a long time since he was dead," Luke recounted.

"Ani's dead?" Jar Jar Binks was shaken. "What happened to Little Ani?"

The Jedi Master remembered what Obi-Wan said last night. The Force-ghost muttered his worry about the gungan, saying no one knew his whereabouts after Anakin turned to the dark side.

Luke, feeling all responsible and generous like a Jedi Master should be, decided to take a burden to find Jar Jar Binks. He had even thought of bringing him home and treating him like a friend. But now, seeing how far this gungan was from normal, he doubted his initial thought.

Jar Jar Binks waved his hand. And of course, he wasn't doing a Jedi mind trick. "What happened, Lukey?"

Luke looked up from his thought, suddenly feeling sure of what he should do. "Come, Jar Jar. We will talk about it later."

The Jedi Master, the gungan, and the astromech all walked out of the cave and into the X-Wing. How Jar Jar Binks and Luke Skywalker could both fit inside the X-Wing was up for the readers' imagination.

They all went aboard and left for Bespin for a few hours journey under 12 parsecs where nothing happened.

Artoo made some beeping sounds along the way, which could be heard of course, because according to the galaxy's law of physics, sounds do travel in space.

When the ship landed in Bespin and they all got out, Luke heard some excitement from the docking bay next to his. He told reluctant Artoo to walk Jar Jar Binks home, while he went to check out the noise.

"I have a bad feeling about this," he said to himself as he walked to the direction of the noise.

He was soon welcomed by a louder noise where a group of his students along with some Bespin kids were cheering for reasons unknown to him. They were all standing in one end of the docking bay in a half circle, facing the sky.

"Master Skywalker!" Aleshy Tano shouted, running to Luke's direction. Her voice was almost unheard in the midst of cheering and screaming. She was the only kids who realized Luke's presence.

"What are you and your friends doing?"

Aleshy was about to open her mouth when another voice shouted something from a ship flying fast next to them, followed by a cheer from the crowd.

Luke turned around to see Ben Solo screech at the top of his lungs from his pods. "Now this is podracing!"

Oh no, Luke thought, the boy did it again! He only left for a day and his nephew had started his Darth Vader's obsession again.

"Yippieee!" Ben shouted. His ship flew faster than his friends', making a few turns in the air, before finally landed in the docking bay.

When the pilot got out of his ship, the crowds were immediately running to him.

"You won, Ben! Whooo!" a ginger Bespin kid shouted a cry, followed by a few others.

Luke marched to the crowds, who quickly gave him a space to walk once realizing his presence.

"BEN! What do you think you're doing?" Luke sounded angry. But, that was not the Jedi way. He chanted Yoda's words in his heart. _Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to blue milk._ _Blue milk leads to…_ Oh, well, he was hungry.

"You've come back. Where did you go, Uncle Luke?" Ben took off his helmet, not seemingly disturbed by his uncle's scolding at all.

"You're grounded, Ben! No lightsaber for a week!"

"Oh, come on, I was just playing around, just like what Grandfather did in the past. You grew up in Tatooine, how could you not understand the fun of Podracing?"

"Vader's fanaticism. Fun of podracing. A Jedi should not crave these things, Ben," Luke sounded calm now. "A Jedi should not be a fanboy."

Ben pouted his mouth. "Then, I don't want to be a Jedi. Darth Vader deserves better than this." He stomped out then left.

* * *

 **Pink ranger 13 : Hey, thanks for the support :D**

 **So guys, I'd really appreciate it if you drop a comment and tell me what you think ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

Now everyone in the docking bay was speechless.

Luke looked at them, his pupils. They were all looking down in shame after Luke's speech about podracing. What in the name of Force should a Jedi say about podracing?

The podracing was strong in his family. His father was in it. His mother watched it. His nephew liked it. But Luke didn't share the likeness too.

"We're really sorry, Master Skywalker," one of his pupils was brave enough to finally speak up. He was Al-Wan Kenobi, who was Obi-Wan Kenobi's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate, which obviously made them totally unrelated. The similarity of last name was only thrown here by the fanfiction writer because she wanted to fool off the readers.

"All of you are grounded," Luke announced. He really hated doing this, but he had to. "Now go back to the temple by piggyback riding each other."

With that, the Jedi Master left. He got in to his nearby-parked speeder to get to Han's and Leia's home in the other side of Cloud City of Bespin. When he arrived, the house looked unusually empty from the outside. Not even C-3PO was there to greet him.

He rushed inside only to find Leia in the living room still doing her hair in front of a mirror.

"What the heck, Leia? You're still not done doing your hair since this morning?" Luke stared at his sister, all shocked and frustrated.

Leia turned to him, looking somewhat upset. "No, I have finished doing my hair one hour ago, which means it only took me less than ten hours to do my hair. Then I walked out and sat in the Millennium Falcon, but then Han walked in and only saw my hair buns from behind the chair and he thought I was Chewie. He grabbed me by my hair and…"

"Stop," Luke said. He didn't want to hear the rest of the story.

Luke shook his head. He had long decided that he couldn't understand this family. The Solo or the Skywalker, they're the same, impossible to understand.

"Don't you know what your son was doing? He was holding a podracing again. A freaking podracing, Leia!"

"You said that it was just a phase! He'll get out of it and everything will be normal again."

"Doesn't mean that you have to sit and wait while doing your hair, when he starts doing something troublesome again," Luke let out a heavy sigh.

"I find your lack of love for podracing disturbing, Uncle Luke," said someone, interrupting the brother and sister conversation. They all turned around to see an upset Ben standing at the door.

"I told you you're grounded, Ben!" Luke yelled. "When I was your age I used the Force to blow up the Death Star. And when your grandfather was your age, he used the Force to serve in the Clone Wars. No one freaking used it for podracing!"

Leia shook her head at the two men in front of her. Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who followed podracing? "Go back to your room, Ben," Leia ordered.

Ben glared at his mother and uncle, wishing Force glare could kill, but of course it didn't. Because that's not how the Force works!

"Hux's parents are cooler about podracing," he whined. "They don't tell him no to podracing."

Luke thought about who this Hux guy was, then he remembered about the ginger boy who cheered for Ben when he got out of his ship.

"Listen to me and go back to your room!" Leia ordered once again. "And leave your lightsaber here!"

Ben threw his lightsaber to a coffee table nearby and smashed it. He did a Force lift to a chair and smashed it against the wall. But this time the boy actually left.

Before Ben disappeared at the door though, Luke shouted. "Back in my time I used the Force to levitate Threepio to scare the teddy bears in Endor, not to disobey your parents, Ben!"

Luke and Leia could hear Ben hiss in annoyance and slammed the door to his room. But the Skywalker twin just acted cool on it. After all the Skywalkers family drama always messed up the galaxy, it should come as no surprise to them.

"Where is Han?" Luke turned to Leia. Now he needed to warn his brother-in-law about his son.

Leia who already turned her eyes back to the mirror to fix her hair, not bothering to look at her brother, said, "He is outside in the backyard with Chewie."

Luke made his way out to the backyard where they usually parked the Millennium Falcon. He saw Han and Chewie on the roof of the ship, fixing it.

"Han!" Luke looked up. "You get to tell Ben something. He did podracing again. You must do something about his being a Vader fanboy, I am so done with it."

Han didn't seem to care. He continued fixing the ship for only the Force knew what he actually did with all those hammer, screwdrivers and other tools. "I will tell him later, Luke. You said it yourself that it's only a phase. I'm very busy now. Chewie and I are going to go to Kashyyyk."

"Arrrggghhh, arrghhh," Chewie responded.

"Kashyyyk? For what?" Luke asked.

Han finally looked up from his work. "It's Life Day tomorrow! Don't you remember?"

Oh, Life Day. Luke suddenly got a war flashback. Between the battle of Yavin and the battle of Hoth, there was a movie so bad it should actually be called Star Wars Horrible Special, or even better don't call it a Star Wars movie at all.

Everything on it was so notoriously bad that even the actors refused to talk about it.

Luke remembered the time he heard Leia's singing on Life Day, which actually wasn't that bad, but still unbearable to hear. After all, it was still part of a pile of crap that Lucas wished to destroy, if only he had a hammer and the time, of course. Now every part of memory of the event deserved to be shoved down to Sarlacc Pit and never to see daylight again. Or better yet, destroy it in a black hole. Not even Sarlacc Pit deserved the disgrace.

"Besides, I don't actually understand Ben's fanaticism toward your father," Han said. "I mean he wasn't cool at all. All he did was breathe so loud like he was wheezing all the time. I am a smuggler who is always on the run. A lot of people want me dead. Thus, I am much cooler."

Luke felt the urge to roll his eyes so bad he actually wished his father's Force ghost would appear and kick Han out of Bespin.

"Hey, don't say something like that about my father. You have only met him once. That day here in Bespin when Lando invited you for lunch with my father. He was calm, peaceful, and all. But the second you met him, you shot him with a blaster. You started the fight first."

"Right, Luke. Because I always shot first. You have to know that, Han ALWAYS shot first."

Now Luke really rolled his eyes. This was not the first time Han talked about it. Yeah, he got it, Han shot first. No need to tell that to him again and again. Screw that newly added special effect in the new special edition.

Their conversation was suddenly interrupted by Leia's scream from inside the house.

The last time Han heard that kind of scream was when they were inside a giant space snake on an asteroid and Leia was shocked by a mynock flying by. What kind of creature could scare her that much under the daylight of Bespin?

Luke and Han rushed inside to see Leia standing in the living room with her eyes widen in horror. Across the room were three creatures. Artoo, Threepio, and Jar Jar.

 _ **A.N. The part with Al-Wan Kenobi's father's brother's and so on (lol) is my shoutout to Spaceballs! You will understand if you have ever watched it ^^. As for Star Wars Horrible Special, it is my best tribute to, well, should I mention it? If you have never heard of it (which is actually good for you and your health), just look up "Star Wars Holiday Special" on imdb and read the reviews (but first, prepare yourself for a heart attack or a severe broken heart case). Hilarious to the max! ^^**_


	4. Chapter 4

Finally after two chapters filled mostly by the adventurous yet garbled story of podracing, now we get to meet the most essential character in the galaxy's story again, who was no other than Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar stared at the former princess of Alderaan with a shock palpable across his face. He wasn't expecting this. How could the daughter of Amidala and Anakin, his friends, feel terrified of him? What did he do wrong?

On the other side of the room, Luke looked at his new friend in confusion. He got a lot of questions in his head. But he turned to his two droids standing next to Jar Jar with an accusing look. "I told you to bring Jar Jar home, Artoo. Why did you and Threepio bring him here?"

"I am sorry Master Luke," C-3PO said. "This is my fault. I didn't know what this creature was and why he suddenly was in your home with Artoo. You know, Master Luke, I find this Jar Jar creature to be a little odd."

"Beep bop beep, boop!" Artoo said.

"Yes, Artoo. But you weren't clear enough in what you said," C-3PO protested back. "I had to make sure things first. And that includes asking Master Luke."

Leia moaned. "Whatever. Now bring that horrific creature out of my house, Threepio!"

"Wait, wait," Han spoke up. "What is that? And why is he here? Care to explain, Luke?"

Luke looked at the gungan who looked very distressed now. "Introduce yourself now Jar Jar. This is my family. That woman is Leia, my sister. And this is Han, Leia's husband."

Hapless Jar Jar bowed his head down, probably feeling shameful and guilty. "Meesa Jar Jar Binks," he said. "Master Qui-Gon Jinn helped meesa once. So meesa helped him and Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Then meesa friends with Anakin and Queen Amidala."

"Jar Jar Binks," Leia repeated in wonder. "So this is the gungan you told me about last night. I can't believe this is how he looks like."

"What are you going to do with him now, Luke? Are you going to keep him as a pet?" Han chuckled. That was certainly mean, because no pet should be like Jar Jar.

Luke looked at his friend in a disagreeing manner. "Of course not. He is our friend now."

Jar Jar's eyes suddenly grew bigger in excitement. "Yes, meesa Lukey's friend now. Thisa bombad news! Meesa feel sooooo happy."

"Ugh, this is stupid," Leia groaned. "How you could find the useless creature is beyond me."

"Meesa was trapped in carbonite for decades!" Jar Jar tried to explain. "Boss Nass put meesa there."

Hearing the word carbonite, Han suddenly grew furious. "You were in carbonite too? That's not cool. I was supposed to be the only cool person ever in a carbonite! I can't believe this idiot could be there too."

"Why did Boss Nass put you there?" Luke asked, ignoring the hatred in his friends' eyes.

But Leia didn't give Jar Jar even a second to speak.

"Oh, just stop it, you half-witted, pathetic life-form! I don't want to see this bumbling idiot ever again in my house," Leia protested. "And don't let him anywhere near me!"

"Or Chewie," Han added. "Or my Millennium Falcon!"

"You haven't even heard his story, guys," Luke said, almost whining. "But now let's go home, Jar Jar. Come on, Artoo."

Jar Jar followed his new master outside, his hands folded and head bowed down. He didn't look very happy, which might bring a great pleasure to many Star Wars fans across the galaxy.

A few minutes later though, the three of them arrived in Luke's Jedi Temple. Luke looked at the gungan trailing unhappily behind him and said, "I am sorry no one seems to like you here."

"Beep bleep bop beep," Artoo said.

"I think it'd better if we have some sleep now. I will need to teach a lot of things to Ben tomorrow," Luke said again.

They all parted and Luke walked himself to his room where he tried to sleep but couldn't. The Jedi Master finally decided to walk out to the balcony where he could look up at sky above and the clouds below.

The view was too good to describe in words, because everything was green screen. The sky, the clouds, the buildings, the ships flying by, none of those was real. If only it was possible, the actors would probably be replaced by special effects too.

Luke stared at the sky blankly, pondering some very important matter like if it was possible to trim your beard or cut your hair using lightsaber. But his important train of thoughts was interrupted when he heard someone calling for him in a familiar voice.

Luke turned around to see a Force-ghost of his father coming to him. And being a Force-ghost gave you the benefit to look the same age for like forever. Here, Luke saw the twenty years old version of his father, which apparently brought great protests from many other Force-ghosts.

"Father," he called. "Why you haven't visited me for a long time."

Anakin Skywalker shook his head. "I still can't stand your nephew. His emo-ness disturbs me beyond everything. I may be the chosen one and I do believe that I am. But I don't want to be worshipped like that. I don't deserve it, son."

"You're the chosen one? You still believe that?"

"Yes," Anakin said convincingly and proudly. "I killed Palpatine and brought balance to the Force. How can you not know that?"

"You mean you brought balance to the Force AFTER you destroyed it first?" Luke corrected.

There was a sudden awkward silence between the father and son. The pause was so long, a star was born from a nebula nearby.

"You want Ben not to be fanboying you all the time, then you have to come and talk to him directly," Luke finally said, removing the awkwardness between them.

"He is too emo, I cannot handle it. Obi-Wan said why the Skywalker men are getting more angsty each generation? It offends me very much, Luke. You have got to do something."

Then here it was decided that Luke had to do something. Just like after his father destroyed the Jedi Order and killed everyone in it, it was Luke who had to do something. But he loved his father no matter what, even though that meant he had to work day and night building the Jedi Order again. His father was always the chosen one.

And that time when he cut off Luke's hand? It was okay, fathers and sons fight all the time everywhere. Having a severed arm was his being grounded, just like Leia having her planet blown up. Those were just some ways to teach valuable lessons from a caring father to their kids.

"Then, what do I do?" Luke inquired.

"Teach him something, like...," Anakin pondered.

"Like what? I brought your gungan friend here. I believe he can teach Ben something valuable."

"You mean Jar Jar Binks?" Anakin gasped.

"Yes, why is that, Father? Is there anything wrong?"

Anakin was silent for a moment. "The truth is - I never liked him."

Now it was Luke who gasped. "But why?"

"I don't know, he is just some pathetic idiot who happened to meet Qui-Gon. Well, wait, I was also the same," Anakin paused, suddenly realizing what he had just said. "Okay, never mind. It's probably a good idea to have him here."

"Okay then, I am grateful you say that, Father."

"Just keep in mind that his clumsiness is so great, it exceeds the great power of the Force. He almost destroyed C-3PO with a compactor once. Not to mention that he also wrecked your mother's Nubian shortly after that. Everything was done out of clumsiness," Anakin recounted wisely, making Luke stare at his father in admiration.

Anakin continued. "No creature in the galaxy is capable of such immense clumsiness, son. Now that you're with him, please guard your droids and your ships well. I really hope you'll be very careful. He may bring more harm than good. But, remember, Jar Jar is the key."

"I don't understand, Father, what do you mean that Jar Jar is the key?"

"I don't understand it either, son. But that's what Lucas said and we have to believe that."

Luke nodded at his father and saw him leave. He felt really sure now, there could be nothing wrong with bringing Jar Jar to Bespin. There was nothing wrong with the writer writing this horrible fanfiction story either. Everything because Jar Jar is the key.


	5. Chapter 5

Mornings in Luke's Jedi Temple were almost always calm. Except this morning. When Luke got out of his bed, he heard a chatter from the outside, like some screaming.

"Get out of that thing now!" that was Leia's voice.

Luke walked to the window to see what was happening outside. Ugh, even living far from his sister didn't mean he didn't have to deal with her screaming and shouting like every day when they were still at the rebel base.

"You, stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking, nerf-herder! Yes, I am calling you, Han! Tell your son to get out of that sand thing and stop making that stupid sculpture! This is not funny!"

Now, they were fighting in Luke's house? This was staggering.

Actually, that was the worst thing that happened in Rebel Base, listening to Han and Leia quarrelling every day. Being bombed by a TIE fighter didn't sound so bad now, if only Luke could choose. Couldn't they leave him in peace, please?

Luke peered at the window to see Han and Leia standing in the edge of a sandbox in the Jedi youngling park. What did you mean that the younglings shouldn't have a playground? Sure, this Jedi Academy in Bespin was more innovative than the one in Coruscant. Luke boasted that every time Yoda's Force-ghost came visiting.

In the middle of the sandbox stood a big sculpture of Han in carbonite. Ben was standing opposite to them, looking proud. Luke burst out laughing. This was the funniest thing he had ever seen after being a Jedi.

"That sand sculpture of me is not funny, Ben!" Han yelled.

"Don't get any closer," Ben warned, raising a finger. "I may use a Jedi mind trick on you to make you think you are a Rodian."

A Rodian? That was the last thing Han ever wanted to be. Rodians reminded him to Greedo. Greedo reminded him to that unfateful afternoon in Mos Eisley cantina. Greedo reminded him to… Han shot first! At least he knew he always shot first.

"If you stay there outside the line, then you're safe," Ben said.

"You're so grounded, Mister," Han warned. "If you don't stop making problem, then I'll really make you go with me to celebrate Life Day in Kashyyyk."

Han could see Ben shiver in fear at the mere mention of Life Day. No one alive would be willing to relive the torture of watching any part of the Star Wars Horrible Special. Not even a minute. Still, this wasn't enough to stop Ben from what he was doing.

"Listen to your father, Ben! Or I'll call your uncle too here!" Leia didn't seem pleased. She knew this would go nowhere. In a second, she found herself calling Luke's name so loud, everyone in the Clouds City could probably hear it.

Luke ran outside, trying to resist his laugh. This was not what he wanted to be involved into. Why did they always call them each time Ben made a problem?

When he arrived outside, he saw something more horrific. There was not only one sand sculpture apparently, but three. The first one was Han in carbonite, the second was something round like a Death Star, and the third was the most horrifying of all. Luke could not believe what he saw. It was Threepio with a lightsaber in his hand. A Jedi Threepio.

"This is madness," C-3PO said from Leia's behind.

"Now these are everything that Darth Vader ever created," Ben said proudly, looking at his creations. "So magnificent and forceful."

Luke was about to open his mouth, saying something in the name of Force which hopefully could scare Ben away, when someone else suddenly came into scene.

He came like out of nowhere from the opposite of Luke's direction, walking shamelessly like he always had been.

"Ben, yousa uncle never told yousa about yousa grandfather."

Everyone around the Jedi youngling park turned silent. They turned around to see who was speaking. Jar Jar Binks.

Ben looked at the gungan who was walking to his direction and spoke loudly and confidently. "He had told me enough. Anakin was Darth Vader. He liked podracing and he grew up in Tatooine where there's sand everywhere."

"No. He _didn't_ like sand," Jar Jar said.

Ben looked at his sculptures in horror, feeling incredibly horrified of what he had done. But he still resisted. "No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!"

"Search yousa feelings, yousa know it to be true!"

Now as expected, Ben screamed at the top of his lungs, figuring out that his grandfather, his number one idol that he worshipped like an emo fanboy, actually hated sand. "NOOOOOO!"

Now, if it were up to the readers' choice, Ben would have jumped out to slash Jar Jar's long neck and made him dead. He would have gone to the dark side the second it happened. But, unluckily, for the sake of the story, what happened was different.

Ben jumped out, igniting his lightsaber and slaying all of the sculptures he had made. The Han in carbonite, the Death Star, everything was ruined.

Now Han, Luke, and Leia, all watched it speechlessly. Even Artoo and Threepio who were standing behind Ben's parents didn't mutter a word. Their jaws were dropped so close to the ground. They couldn't decide which was more jaw-dropping, seeing Ben gone more rogue than usual or Jar Jar's statement about Anakin and sand.

Luke ran away back to his room, trying to calm himself down. This was all too shocking for him. He couldn't believe this. Two decades after figuring out that Darth Vader was his father, now he had to deal with something more dreadful and surprising.

Luke looked up, calling his father. "Father, is that true? You hated sand? But why, Father? Obi-Wan, why didn't you tell me?"

This was probably the hundredth information Obi-Wan hid from him. Luke felt really disappointed and betrayed. All that man cared about was probably only his robe and how to look awesome in it.

Anakin's Force-ghost finally came into scene. His face showed displeasure and disappointment.

"Why did you do this?" Anakin asked.

Luke looked up at him. "What?"

"The sand, of course," Anakin replied in a somewhat raised tone. "That joke is really overrated beyond words. It's not even funny, but people keep repeating it over and over." He whined.

"But, Father, to me it was funny."

"I literally only said it once to Padme and somehow it managed to spread across the galaxy. You may think that's stupid, but your mother was somehow turned on by that line. She is probably the only one. Ever. But do you know how they, the other Jedi Force-ghosts, from Obi-Wan to Mace Windu, called me in the afterlife, son?" Anakin stared at Luke in what one could only describe as a horrified expression. "It's Sandakin!"

Luke gulped, now it was really hard to contain his laugh. But at the same time, he also felt incredibly guilty. Even in the Jedi's afterlife, bullying still existed, and it happened to his poor father.

Anakin didn't stop there. He went on explaining things that made Luke wish he'd be somewhere else doing something else with someone else. Just please, not listening to his father's speech about sand.

"That line was meant to be a form of allegory to my hatred toward Tatooine, the desert planet where I grew up and lived miserably with my mother as slaves. It's meant to be sad and ironic. So, why are you people making fun of it? How can people not understand? Why, tell me, Luke."

"I-I don't know, Father," Luke stuttered. "Perhaps, it's the way you said it. I mean, how could they make the most fearful and powerful man in the galaxy actually say such line? How can they make the most iconic villain in the universe whine about sand? _I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough…_ "

"Stop it."

"Sorry."

Anakin, still looking bitter and betrayed, looked down at his son furiously. "I am not going to see you again, son. Everything that happens to Ben is now entirely your responsibility."

Luke gasped. Everything which seemed funny at first had vanished. He had gone into full Jedi panic mode now. "But, Father, what if he turns to the dark side? You've got to tell him something and bring him back!"

"No!" Anakin yelled. "This sand thing has made me really hurt. I can't believe you did this to me. Now, should your nephew turn to the dark side, it becomes your sole responsibility."

"But I didn't do anything! It's Jar Jar…"

"Still no, my son. Because from my point of view, the sand is evil!"

With that, Anakin Skywalker disappeared. He was never heard or seen in any form anymore.

* * *

 **A.N. Hey guys, thanks for your supports so far! I always have so much fun writing the fan fiction and to see your comments really does bring smiles to my face ^^. Anyway, if you watch The Clone Wars series, I am sure you know the episode when Jar Jar pretends to be a Jedi and the Rodians actually buy it! Like, what are they trying to tell us? Between Jar Jar and Threepio, Threepio is definitely more reasonable to be one. Anakin makes him, after all, unless there's something more to Jar Jar that we don't know about *wink. Okay, I am just kidding here, but it's really fun talking about it ^^**


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